Going Crazy
by Crazy Cherries
Summary: Crack. Lee. Wasn't. Wearing. Spandex. He wasn't wearing GREEN at all! As soon as she processed this, she pointed at him and shrieked at the top of her lungs. There's a kinda prequel


_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto._

_Now, if you're good and you review,_

_I'll kill Karin just for you._

**Going Crazy**

* * *

To say Sakura was shocked would have been the understatement of the year. She was so far beyond shocked. In fact she was probably going crazy. The reason? Ino, that pig, had just made sense on something logical.

"Hello, earth to Sakura?" Ino rapped her knuckles on Sakura's rather large forehead. "Anybody in there?" When Sakura didn't answer Ino was forced into drastic measures. "If you don't wake up I'm going to go into your body and ask Sasuke Uchiha to undress me in the middle of Konoha."

Sakura hated this girl. First she makes sense and now she wouldn't let Sakura be in overdrive mode. "Ino!" She started shaking the girl, "You just made sense! And you weren't talking about flowers or fashion! This has to be some kind of record."

"Well der! Sakura, I do have my moments. Hanging out with you and Shika, I have to learn something sometimes, you know? Otherwise I can't ever show my face in Konoha again." Sakura just shook her head. Ino was such a drama queen.

"Listen, Ino, I'd love to stay and listen to you make more sense but I have to get to Tsunade before she kills me." Sakura said, still in whatever state it was that came after shock, stood up and promptly tripped and hit her head on the dresser. Then she got up and continued out the door yelling, "Bye, Pig!" as she walked out the door, acting like nothing had happened.

"Alright, bye Forehead, see you later."

As Sakura innocently headed towards the Hokage tower, she saw Lee. She waved to him for a moment, and then stopped, frozen. Lee. Wasn't. Wearing. Spandex. He wasn't wearing GREEN at all! As soon as she processed this, she pointed at him and shrieked at the top of her lungs.

Lee just turned around and acted as if nothing was wrong. He smiled and said, "Hello Sakura. You are the very essence of beauty." And that was it. No random proclamation of 'Youth!' or anything. Sakura blinked at him and then did what any sane person in her position would do. She ran away. Quickly.

Maybe she hit her head a little _too_ hard.

She slowed down as she reached Ichiraku and saw Naruto and Hinata eating there. Maybe stopping bye and saying hello would be good for her. After all Naruto's craziness would put something normal into her twisted freaked out world.

"Hey Sakura!" he greeted and hugged her.

"Hey, Naruto. Hinata." Naruto was still squeezing her. "Can't breathe, Naruto! Can't breathe!"

"Oh… Sorry! Hehehe." He put her down. "Guess I don't know my own strength."

"Hello, Sakura." Hinata greeted as Naruto flexed his (nonexistent) muscles. Sakura stared at the girl. Hinata didn't stutter. But when the girl started going pink, Sakura decided nothing _that_ bad was wrong.

"Didja hear Sakura?" Naruto but into her kind-of conversation with Hinata.

"Hear what Naruto? My ear drums screaming for mercy? Yeah."

"No silly! I'm talking about Sasuke dating Karin!"

Sakura stared at him. "_You _are telling _me_ that Sas-GAY is dating a girl?"

"No. I'm telling you that Sas-gay is dating Karin. The he/she."

Sakura nodded. "I guess that makes sense. He needs to revive his clan and to revive his clan he needs babies and since guys can't get pregnant he needs a girl and so he picks the closest thing to a guy he can get!" Sakura worked it all out, out loud and then clapped her hands together to show that she got it. "Karin is more boy than girl so Sasuke feels more comfortable with her. I'm so proud of him for finding someone!"

"NARUTO!" Now this didn't come from Sakura. It didn't come from Ino or Sasuke either. It came from the least likely person. Ever. Hinata. "Stop doing that with your chopsticks! You'll poke an eye out!" Hinata all but yelled… Well, got as close to yelling as she would ever get.

Sakura started rocking back and forth on her feet. The world was going crazy and she was the only sane one left. What next? Gai flying through the sky while screaming 'Youth!'? Sakura didn't think she could handle that but looked up anyway. Just in case.

She breathed a sigh of relief when she didn't see him up there. But when she heard, "The power of youth shall prevail!" she looked up again and saw Gai. Yup, you guessed it, flying through the air. Sakura felt sick and she fell onto the floor in fatal position saying, "This isn't happening." over and over again until she regained control of herself. It took a while.

Since Naruto and Hinata hadn't acted like anything was wrong she guessed it had only been in her wacked out imagination. When she looked up, Naruto was still talking about Sasuke and Karin. "I heard that she's pregnant now. I wonder if the kid will be a he/she or a she/he. Maybe it will turn out normal! A he or a she!"

At the talk of kids and maybe the word 'pregnant' Hinata looked down and twiddled her fingers together. A habit that she only used when she was hiding something and the subject was related to what she was hiding. Sakura looked at Hinata and then at Naruto. "Wait!" she yelled, waving her arms around, stopping Naruto from talking and Hinata from twiddling. "Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!" Sakura took a deep breath and then continued. This would be difficult to ask. "Please don't tell me you two haven't done the dirty deed!"

Both Naruto and Hinata looked down and turned red. "We haven't done the…what did you call it again?" Naruto asked looking up, confused.

"Dirty deed." Sakura supplied.

"Dirty deed." Naruto echoed her and finished his sentence.

"LIAR! YOU'VE TAINTED HER! YOU'VE TAINTED HINATA!" Sakura screeched pointing an accusing finger at the two of them and before they could say anything in their defense, Kakashi popped up.

"Yo." He said looking bored with his book in his hand.

"For once you're on time!" Naruto and Hinata both looked relieved. Sakura shot them a look that said they'd talk about this later. She would hunt them down if she had to. Wait…she froze. Kakashi. On time. She twitched and walked away muttering, "."

"What's her problem?" Kakashi asked them, never lifting his head from his book. They just shrug.

"She's been acting crazy for a while now." Hinata replied, going back to her ramen.

"DON'T BELIEVE ANYTHING SHE SAYS! SHE'S UNTRUSTWORTHY IN THIS STATE!" Said (well der) Naruto.

As Sakura made her way down the main road of Konoha she saw Neji. She saw Neji WITH SHORT HAIR! And to make it worse he was SUCKING THE FACE OFF of some girl with long brown hair. Sakura of coarse had to stop and stare. With her mouth open. When they came up for breath Sakura realized the girl was…TENTEN? The universe must hate her. She groaned and went on her way, deciding that stopping would cause her poor brain to melt.

But, Shikamaru stepped in front of her, making it impossible to move from her spot. "What?" she snapped, afraid he was going to do something like juggle on his head while riding a unicycle.

"Ino told me to make sure you reached the Hokage's in one piece. She said you were out of it when you left her house. Damn woman made me stop staring at the clouds."

"And _you _ofall people" Sakura pointed at Shikamaru. "Got off of your lazy ass to listen to _her_." Sakura made some vague gesture back where she had come. "And help _me_." Sakura pointed at herself.

Shikamaru just shrugged like it was no big deal. "Yeah."

Sakura squinted at him. "How do I know that you're the _real_ Shikamaru?"

The boy sighed. "Ino was right. You really are out of it."

Sakura just ignored the boy. Speaking as if he hadn't said anything, she suddenly couldn't hold all of the weirdness of the day in anymore. So, completely oblivious to the people gathering around her, she started blabbing like an idiot.

"See, first Ino made _sense!_ She said something completely rational! Now tell me that _isn't_ weird. Then I saw Lee, who _wasn't _wearing spandex or green. He also _wasn't _saying youth after every word. Then I met Hinata and Naruto at the ramen bar and Hinata _didn't_ stutter _and_ she _yelled!_ Yelled! Can you believe it?"

"Well I-" But Sakura wouldn't let him talk. Apparently she was asking questions she didn't want the answer to. Instead she just plowed on.

"Then Naruto told me Sas-_GAY_ was dating Karin. That's not as bad as the rest of it but it's still kinda weird so I'm throwing it into the mix. I mean we all know he's gay and stuff. He just needs to revive his clan and Karin's the only one manly, or womanly, enough to do it."

"He-"

"I mean she kinda looks like a girl, but then she kinda looks like a guy too. I mean she doesn't have boobs so… OH! I got it! She got that surgery done but they did it horribly so now instead of being a guy or a girl she's just some he/she. Someone should tell Sasgay. I've got nothing against he/she's but I think he has the right to know."

"I'm ri-" A new voice had cut in, but it also went ignored.

"Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah! Gai _flew_ through _air_! He was screaming something about youth, but I forget. The weird thing about that was that I thought about it before it happened. I must have ESP! I mean one second I'm thinking about this and the next he's above my head. Totally crazy. Next thing that happened was that Kakashi was on _time!"_

This shocked Shikamaru, who was apparently the listener in this speaker to listener relationship-thing they'd established. He was the only one Sakura semi-noticed. She registered the shock on his face and nodded enthusiastically.

"I know, right? And all this time I'm thinking it's because of that bang I got from falling in Ino's room but it's _not._" Sakura made a wide arc with her hand and her long forgotten coffee cup flew from her hands and landed on Naruto's face. Even when she's not paying attention she still knows (subconsciously, of course) when Naruto was making fun of her. True enough, Naruto had been making crazy signs and pointing at Sakura.

"It gets worse too! Because then I saw Neji with short hair and Tenten with her hair down. And they were sucking each other's faces off! Oh and speaking of Neji, I forgot something dealing with Hinata. See at Ichiraku's right before Kakashi showed up Naruto said that Karin was pregnant with Sasuke's babies and then I found out Hinata and Naruto have done _IT!"_ There was a simultaneous gasp from the whole crowd.

"Oh crap." Naruto.

"Dayum!" Lee.

"Uh-oh." Hinata.

"NARUTO! YOU DID _WHAT _WITH MY COUSIN!" A red-faced Neji who had obviously forgotten about what Sakura had said about him and Tenten.

This was like some drama on TV. The only one who was oblivious to the beating that was taking place was Sakura. And, unlike at the chunin exams, Naruto was losing. As everyone placed bets on how long it would take Neji to chuck Naruto somewhere far away, Sakura continued.

"I'm at the end now, this is all about your craziness Shika! You got off of your lazy ass to help me in my time of need at Ino's command!" Satisfied with herself Sakura tuned into the world around her and for the first time she realized that there was a whole crowd made up of the people she'd just talked about. "Um…" there on the ground was a beaten and bloody Naruto, a couple of people looked pink, and a couple (Sasuke and Karin) looked enraged. Shikamaru managed to look bored. "What…?"

"It's all right, Forehead, why don't we explain everything so you won't be crazy any more hmm?"

"Okay." Sakura sounded just a little meek. Ino set her down on a bench and gave her a new cup of coffee.

"I'll begin since this all started with me. I made sense because I read what I told you in a fashion magazine."

"Oh that makes sense."

"Yes. And the only reason I didn't tell you this before was because I wanted to seem smart. You, however, had to ruin this for me." Sakura nodded her head in understanding. "Lee! You're up!"

"I had made a bet with the magnificent Tenten," Ooh! Watch the vein in Neji's head pop out. "And I had lost the bet so I am not allowed to say _that_ word or wear green spandex for a whole week." Lee looked down dejectedly.

"Aw, poor you, Lee. I'm sorry I freaked out."

"It is all right, I forgive you, my wonderful Cherry Blossom!"

"M-my turn next?" Hinata took a deep breath and then continued. "I'm taking lessons on how n-not to s-stutter. I yelled at Naruto b-because I'm t-trying to be more o-open."

"Now I feel bad." Sakura looked down at her coffee cup and made circles around the outside with her finger.

"No! It's okay. I should have t-told everyone." Hinata offered Sakura a smile and Sakura smiled back.

"I think I'm up next." Sasuke stated in monotone with his death glare on max.

"Nope!" Naruto puts his arm around Sasuke's shoulders. "We all wanna know if you're gay or not so you'll stay until the end. This way no one will leave Sakura hanging!"

"And before you can protest, Uchiha, Naruto still has to explain why he slept with my cousin." Hyuuga vs. Uchiha. Who's death glare shall win? UCHIHA! And the crowd goes wild! (Aaahhh!). Sakura giggled and rocked back and forth, enjoying herself.

"Sakura… Are you okay?"

"Hmmm? Yeah, sure. Come on Naruto, out with your reason."

"Well… Hinata and I are engaged now!" And just like that chaos reigned once again. The girls raced to Hinata to see her ring and the guys crowded around Neji beating Naruto up once again, leaving the poor blond bloody, bruised and beaten.

When things settled down, it was Gai's turn.

"I lost a battle with the youthful Kakashi an-"

"You don't need to say anymore."

"I can explain why Kakashi was on time." Stated (although it was quite hard to understand) the bruised and bloody Naruto who was dragged upright out of the gutter and onto the floor.

"Good. Because I was sure I was at least two hours late."

"Well I wanted to mess with you and make you think you were going crazy… so I kinda sorta told you to meet us at Ichiraku two hours earlier."

Kakashi crossed his arms and gave Naruto a disapproving look. "Well, Naruto I hope you're proud of yourself. Because of you our young Cherry Blossom thought she was crazy." Looking back on it everyone agreed that most of the craziness that Sakura experienced was around Naruto. "And not only that, because of you, from now on I'll have to be at least four hours late."

Everyone groaned and punched Naruto in the face, then, they looked expectantly at Neji and Tenten. Neji sighed then explained. "We're dating. I lost a bet." Then he pulled his HAIR _OFF! _OMFG!

"Bald! You… you're… meh…" Ladies and gentlemen Ino is down for the count. Gai gasped and followed Ino to the floor. Only Shikamaru had caught Ino… everyone just lets Gai fall into the sewer.

"It's a bald cap."

"So you're not bald?" A very confused Sakura asked.

Neji pulled that off too and revealed a head of long, flawless hair.

"You know Neji; I think your fan girls are after your hair, more than your looks. But definitely for the looks." Sakura nodded appreciatively at Tenten's words of wisdom. "By the way Sakura, I just lost my hair ties." Sakura nodded again, having guessed this.

"Ino's a scary troublesome woman." Shikamaru explained. Sakura sniggered as the blond woke up in time to hear that and so she (of course) bonked him on the head. That explained just about everything.

"Is it finally _my_ turn?" Sasuke asked impatiently, (Everyone'd actually forgotten about him… not that they would admit it.) once again, scowl on face (check), glare on max (check), no emotion on face (check). "Sakura what the hell are you doing now?"

"Checking off all of the things you need to have ready before you begin your long winded speech." Sasuke scowled (double check) at her (ooh scary), before he began.

Sasuke started with stating, quite monotonously, "I'm not dating that hag, Karin."

"Damn-straight… hey! I'm no hag! And I'm dating Suigetsu!"

"You mean fish boy?"

"That's shark boy to you!" Karin grounded out, "And I'm not a boy either you forehead freak!"

"Hey!" Ino called out. "Only I can call her that." Ino then proceeded to pounce on Karin and beat the crap outta her. As everyone's watching the catfight, which really isn't much of a fight since Karin was losing and not doing much damage, if any at all; Sasuke grabbed Sakura's hand and walked with her to the bridge.

"I'm not gay either. I'm not gay. I'm not dating Karin. And I'm dating you. Got it?"

"Wha-" but Sakura never got to finish that sentence because Sasuke smashed his lips over hers. When they finally parted for air Sasuke leaned his forehead against Sakura's slightly larger one and said, "Dinner at 7. I'm picking you up."

"Deal."

Suddenly a building collapsed and Tsunade's voice roared, "Where the **HELL **is Sakura?"

"Oh shit! I'm late." And Sakura runs off, thinking to herself the world needs to go crazy for Sasuke to ask her out, she will gladly allow it.

_._

"Sakura… Get up Forehead!" Sakura groaned. "Finally."

"What happened?"

"You fell, remember?"

"Oh yeah… wait does that mean the world didn't go crazy?"

"What?"

"I gotta go Ino. Bye!"

"Bye… Crazy Forehead-girl."

Sakura ran off in search of Sasuke. When she found him, she kissed him on the lips. "Dinner. You. Me. 7. Ichiraku's. You're picking me up." Sasuke dumbly nodded, slightly confused and Sakura skipped off to work happily. She didn't even notice Shino's flying form go right over her head.

Sakura herd shrieks about five minutes later, but by then she was too busy at Tsunade's office to care.

.

Shino's seen without his glasses (for maximum scariness) laughing like a madman as he watches his bugs eat Karin alive. Suigetsu walks up and he looks first at Karin, then at Shino, then back again.

"Hey, do you have any idea how long this will take? I wanna ask that hot babe who runs the Ichiraku ramen stand out."

In response Shino adds more killer bugs and silently tells them to hurry up. Karin dies two minutes later, after having listened to Shino and Suigetsu laugh like maniacs.

Who knew the bug boy had it in him?

* * *

_Like?_

_Remember the poem from the top?_

_I killed Karin, so you must review!_

_By the way, the 'fail try' in Sakura's rant as she walked away from Kakashi and Naruto was a complete accident, I never noticed it before. _

_Officially updated and hopefully free of errors._


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